I’m not a very good blogger.
I don’t seem to talk very much on my blog, don’t update blog often enough and don’t seem to reveal very much of myself thru my blog entries.
The truth is I can be a very private person and there is always just too much going on in my mind to be put on the blog. The activity in my head is like a Virginia Woolf novel where a day’s event can be elaborated into a full-length novel.

但是我今天想和你們分享一些我的心情轉折 Today I want to share with you what’s going on in the mind of a struggling artist. :p

Although it may have seemed like I have chosen to pursue singing, dropping everything else i had going for me.
或許看起來像是我拋棄了其他更有可能性的選擇，固執的選擇了表演。
But the truth is I have known all along that I am here for no other reason but to sing my heart out.
但是在我內心深處，我始終明白我生來就是為了要唱歌。
the longing to sing has always been there. I was just too afraid to admit it.
唱歌的慾望始終在那裡，我只是害怕去承認。
afraid of failure, afraid of not making it. Afraid of mediocrity. afraid that the audience is not going to like me and what I have to offer.
害怕失敗、害怕無法成功、害怕自己只能有平庸的表現、害怕觀眾不會喜歡我
But God has made the path clear to me.
但是很奇妙的，神似乎讓唱歌的道路清楚的在我眼前浮現。
when I decided to pursue singing, doors were opened for me. Joy and confidence came into my life.
我決定選擇唱歌之後，機會之門為我打開。喜悅和信心也隨之出現。
It it not to say there haven’t been difficulties and moments of self-doubts.
這並不是說我這一路上沒有經歷困難或是自我懷疑的時刻（相信我，幾乎每隔一個月，我就會陷入自我懷疑的無底深淵–我真的能唱歌嗎？我真的適合嗎？我想要一直唱到我是老婆婆，但是我真的做得到嗎？）
but I am proud to say that I have found my 『calling』 and I would like to encourage you to find yours as well.
但是至少現在我可以驕傲的說，我已經找到我這一生的使命，而且我也鼓勵電腦前的你們去發現屬於你的使命。

我或許已經說過許多次，但朋友的支持，真的是我繼續努力的動力。
的確當一個獨立歌手會有很多小辛酸，沒有靠山，所有的事情都得自己來，但是我有很多朋友的愛，很多天使在我身邊（you’re my everyday angles!）

為了我身旁的天使們，我寫了一首歌，附上最原始的demo（是我隨便用簡易的麥克風錄好，再交給編曲另行合成，音和詞有點唱錯，編曲也都不是真的樂器，聽起來或許不盡完美，但希望大家可以從這樣的聲音效果裡想像我坐在我的小macbook前，一手拿麥克風，嘴裡唱著仍未完全成型的歌曲，一手用不純熟的手法操作garageband的模樣。）

This is one of the very first songs I wrote. I hope you will like it even though it is just a very rough demo. Through this demo, perhaps you can somehow imagine me sitting in front of my macbook, trying to operate Garageband while still figuring out how to organize the notes and lyrics in the song…

Ying-yings Demos

You Are My…
Lyrics/Music by Ying-ying Shih
Arrangement by Jay Cheng

You’ve given me life, and unconditional love
You rid me from want and worries; You are my parents

You taught me respect, you taught me virtues
You taught me about faith. You are my mentor

You make me proud, just like I am your pride
You’ll never forsake me, you are my friend

You gave me a future, strong shoulders to lean on
You never let me down, you are my lover

You’ve given me light. You’ve given me strength
You are my saving grace. You are my lord.

Every day Every day Every day you are with me
You give me the reason to trust in myself
Every one everyone every one of you
I give you thanks
For you are my love
You are my hope
You are my everything
You are my angel