我的朋友Leland是一個患有自閉症的十九歲大男孩。我們在教會認識，他的媽媽Karen也是我的好朋友。儘管在Leland十多個月大剛被診斷出有自閉症的時候，醫生跟Karen說Leland將不會有辦法正常學習，但是Karen並沒有放棄讓他的孩子過正常生活的機會。她讓Leland接觸各種學習的機會，也發現Leland在繪畫方面特別有天份，在他們去年搬回台灣前就在美國辦過多次畫展，接受許多媒體採訪(http://www.lelandlee.com/)。在他們回國之後，Leland又開始學吉他，還常常在教會和其他場合表演。Leland的才華洋溢引來許多台灣媒體的報導，上上個星期，年代新聞也特別對Leland進行為期一週的貼身採訪。在Karen的邀請下，我參與了採訪的其中一段，看著Leland在鏡頭前專注的彈吉他、畫畫，我想他的世界是和我們有一點不一樣，但是我們的這個世界又有什麼資格說他是unfit for this world？

if you’d allow me to stretch the analogy just a little bit… 如果說Leland的autism是一種handicap，女人的年紀又何嘗不是一種handicap。因為autism，醫生說Leland不能自由地學習、自由地溝通；女人年紀越大，這個社會也告訴她說她不能自由選擇她想做的事、想選擇的生活型態。靠著Karen對Leland的信心，Leland突破了許多困難，達到旁人不認為他能夠做到的目標；而女人也得要有同樣多的信心，才能在封閉的社會裡開拓出讓自己舒服的空間。

By the same token, many other things (age in general, poverty, etc.) can also be interpreted as 『handicaps.』 But as the story of Leland tells us, these handicaps can be conquered if we have the faith and the will…

Random (March 2006) 上班族時期的一篇隨想…

As I stood on the platform of Chungxiao Xinsheng station waiting for my morning train, I found my eyes fixated on the TV screen above me, which has now become a standard accessory at each of the MRT stations. What is normally shown on these screens is one after another movie trailers and repeats of the same commercials.

I tried to move my eyes away, surveying the impeccably clean station illuminated with bright fluorescent lights.

If life is to be reduced to this…day in and day out, rushing past strangers and staring at one screen after another. Modernity can be dehumanizing.

Images of the humongous, dimly-lit DC subway stations flashed on my mind and overlapped with those of the brightly lit Taipei MRT. DC subways have always made me think of another space other than the one we live in. The long escalator ride going down the dome shaped concrete tunnel was like a ride into a different world. The pale orange lighting makes the stations look all the more futuristic and somewhat unreal.

My wandering thoughts were brought to a stop as the doors of the train rattled open in front of me. I entered the train like I have done many hundreds or even thousands of times before. By one of the window seats were a man and a woman dozing off: two strangers sitting side by side who may have never exchanged a look at each other but have fallen asleep all the same. This mental snapshot brought back memories of the Tokyo trains on which all the lucky passengers who were able to secure a seat have their eyes tightly shut, getting their much needed nap before the punctual and sardine-packed trains take them to another long day at work.

During my short 3-min ride on the Taipei train, I spotted another girl with ultra long eye lashes and dark, oversized pupils…most likely enhanced with one of those contact lenses that Ayumi Hamasaki endorsed. As the images I saw on my daily train ride merged with images in my memory of subways in different cities, the train arrived at my destination, ejecting a few tens of people rushing to work, hoping not to miss the deadline to punch in their cards… Day after day this is the way it is. and I could only temporarily disrupt this routine with my reminiscences of the past and dreams of the future.

淡淡的,』烏干達天空下』訴說著戰火肆虐下北烏干達Patongo保護區內兒童的故事。儘管他們無時無刻都生活在叛軍的武力威脅下、儘管他們都經歷了慘絕人寰的悲慘遭遇，音樂和信仰救贖了他們，在歌聲與舞蹈中，他們的眼中依然充滿希望。I like how this is a film that celebrates life while exposing the traumatic stories these lovely kids had to go through. i have always believed that without hope, without faith, we are nothing. and despite the ongoing cilvil war, sparks of hope shine in these Uganda kids’ eyes when they sing and dance. Their singing and dance were beautiful… 純粹的打擊和人聲、渾然天成的律動，感染了小小的電影院裡的每一位觀眾。

http://www.cimage.com.tw/WarDance/

或許我並不是最適合說這個故事的人,畢竟我和嵐的合作僅限於2007年中開始的LPC, 但我想試著從我的角度說這個故事，其他的就交給嵐的夥伴補充吧。

「嵐創作體倒了！」當我這樣告訴我的朋友時，他們都很訝異。「不是做得很好嗎？」LPC的叫好叫座，大家有目共睹，但是直至今天為止，沒有一個LPC的演員有拿到薪水（聽說有人有拿到小部份），幕後的工作人員聽說也沒拿到，而上一齣戲的演員和幕後工作人員也都還沒拿到當初的薪水，在這樣的情況下，再有理想的人我想也撐不下去吧。

LPC票房賺的錢呢？應該是已經用來付場地費、便當錢、排練場的房租之類的，但這些都僅限於我的猜測。我想債務造成的原因大部分是因為資金運用規劃不當、款項公私不分。以被欠的款項來說我真的算是小戶、而且我也的確從LPC這齣戲當中得到很多，但是我所無法接受的是前團長空泛的承諾與數不清的藉口。

嵐太像是個大家庭，大家都因此對前團長過份寬容，任由他欠大家一齣又一齣戲的薪水，甚至借錢讓他借場地（而他也都承諾大家說他的父親會幫忙還清這些錢），到了現在這些款項大家都不知道要跟誰討，因為團長已經避不見面，他的父親也毫無意願解決這些債務，只願幫助兒子逃債。我們不是忘恩負義，我只是不喜歡說到作不到、沒有擔當的態度，正因為我們對前團長還有期望、希望他以後還能導戲、組劇團，所以我們必須要讓他知道正確的做事態度是什麼。

目前嵐債權人仍在討論該如何解決嵐的善後。有經驗的朋友麻煩給我們一點建議！

話說我去年在晶華駐唱的款項也還有部份仍未拿到… well I guess we all learn from lessons like these…

我要演四月望雨了！ 我很開心！！
我會演出愛愛這個角色、可以跑遍全台、唱很多好聽的台語歌，和優秀的團隊合作，還可以讓台南的外婆看到我的live表演。Thank Lord!

關於四月望雨：
http://aprilrain.allmusic-mag.net/

i just saw this in my mailbox-it came as a huge shock to me. I worked with this pianist once. It’s hard to believe that he’s no longer with us…

讓愛延續 － 吳書齊紀念音樂會
“Let the Love Live On” —- Charity Concert in Memory of Suchi Wu

傑出台灣爵士音樂人吳書齊於2008年3月26日因憂鬱症離開人世，已於4月8日及4月12日在台北和巴黎兩地舉辦追思會，家人與朋友為了將書齊的音樂創作繼續傳遞出去，並且將對書齊的愛轉化為一股動力，幫助更多困於精神牢籠的朋友，於5月3日共同籌畫了「讓愛延續 － 吳書齊紀念音樂會」，齊聚演奏書齊的創作，並以自己的音樂向他致敬！

書齊於1999發行第一張爵士鋼琴原創專輯『存在』，獲頒年度爵士音樂評審團大獎，及「LISTEN最美的聲音」誠品年度回顧推薦音樂。之後受 Lee Morgan 啟發開始研習小號，遠赴比利時三年，師事 Nicolas Schepers，期間並與歐洲各爵士樂手表演。後赴巴黎三年，深受 Benoit Delbecq 影響開始專心從事音樂創作。於2007年推出第二張專輯『鹿港』，2008年4月推出的『倒影』專輯成為他的最後作品。

書齊的作品著意於真實情感的即興呈現，他用『存在』來證明他的存在，用『鹿港』去追祖先們的步履，以音樂創作去確認自己是存在著。末了，『倒影』表達出讓他一生投入熱情的爵士樂，不管是標準曲和他的自創曲，是最後留在大家心裏頭的倒影，彷彿是再次告訴大家－我存在著。

「讓愛延續 － 吳書齊紀念音樂會」，將於5月3日週六下午2點到4點於台北黑糖 Brown Sugar餐廳舉辦，免費開放入場，現場將義賣書齊的所有作品，款項將全數捐贈『生活調適愛心會』。

吳書齊網站　http://www.myspace.com/suchiwu
書齊的家人好朋共同製作的Blog　http://blog.yam.com/suchiwu
生活調適愛心會網站　http://www.ilife.org.tw/

表演者Performers(按照演出順序排列In order of appearance)：
邱建二Miles, 張坤德, Kevin James, Ed Shaffer, Chris Styles, Harry Schnur, 彭郁雯Yuwen Peng, 楊曉恩 Shawna Yang, 張宜蓁 Janelle Chang, 廖志銘 Jimmy Liao, 林俊宏 Junhong Lin, 唐么玫Tammy Tang, Martijn Vanbuel, Pietro Valente……

My last entry was posted on Feb 19… it’s been two months and much has happened during the 60 or so days. First my grandpa’s funeral-where white lilies lined the corridors and christians and non-christians sang hymns in one voice. It was a beautiful testimony to God’s grace and love. We are all grateful for Dong-ning church’s generosity for taking my non-Christian grandpa in and for God’s mercy in accepting grandpa in lieu of the baptism ceremony. My cousins, aunts and uncles all gathered from difference parts of the world. I thank my grandpa for bringing us together to bid our last farewell to him. Like my dad said, my grandpa may be a B+ dad but he is most definitely an A+ grandpa. (80分的父親 一百分的阿公) We all miss him dearly but were also glad that my grandparents now can be in heaven together.

Over the last two months I also did a few more performances-most of them are not open to the public so did not promote them on my site. But soon there will be public performances so please do come back and check out the dates

I have also been busy writing over the last couple weeks-in addition to doing commissioned writing, I also wrote my first lyrics! they are still not mature enough to be shown to other people but I am just excited that I can actually write lyrics that rhyme!

Oh and another big change in my life is that my cousin Justine is now living with me and my parents. She’s my sidekick, assistant, photographer, bodyguard, dance instructor and muse all rolled into one, so it’s not hard to imagine the FUN we been having together.

Looking ahead, there’s an audition coming up in 4 days! Wish me luck and pray for me ’cause I can use that extra faith…

阿公走了。就在上個星期六。享年九十三歲。
週末的忙碌讓我在今天才真的感覺到他已經不在的事實。
在這之前，阿公已經在加護病房裡住上了一個多月，我們也多少已經預料到這一天的來臨。但還是不忍回想過去…
在阿媽過世後，阿公就一直待在台南，我和阿公也漸漸變得疏遠。後來因為他重聽的厲害，就連回台南看他也沒辦法和他真的交談。
但我記得，在我還是個小女孩的時候，有一次阿公從台北要回去台南，我還偷偷哭得希哩嘩啦。
阿公年輕的時候是個嚴父，但是對孫子輩卻是照顧有加，彷彿是角色的轉換，讓他也稍稍露出溫柔的一面。
他是個正直、細心、喜歡碎碎念、有點過度節儉，卻對朋友很講義氣的人。
雖然他來不及在離開前受洗，但我相信他會去到阿媽身邊，在天堂裡，他們不會孤單。
I pray that God will forgive me for how I have failed as a grandchild and guide me to become a better daughter and friend to all the people I care about.
God bless.

——————————-
Reading the obituary dad wrote for grandpa, I couldn’t help but cry and cry so so hard.
Dad’s such a good writer, much better than I am anyway. and he mentioned the dreams he and my grandpa had last year, both about my grandma, who passed away 9 years ago. I never knew about their conversation about those dreams until now. And the sheer mention of her brought back so many memories. She is the one who took care of me and taught me all the important things i needed to know when I was a kid. Since her death, I have always felt that I failed her in many ways. Now that my grandpa is gone too, I feel that I miss my grandma even more…

2008年的二月是忙碌而充實的。
我在台南的外婆家渡過了愉快的新年假期，謝謝超級有活力、超級多元發展的表妹帶我和Lorraine到處玩耍、還有可愛的阿舅、超正的舅媽和越來越帥的表弟的熱情招待。外婆一如往常準備了滿桌的佳肴，看到她依然元氣十足，在我的錄影機前背出一節節金句、唱出一首首詩歌，真是讓人開心。
回到台北以後，神祕失控的練習也依然緊湊 （我們在二月底會有兩場表演：高雄燈會和某公司尾牙），也謝謝Jennifer促成我在Dior的尾牙表演(殺價女王，真是辛苦你了！)同時間在準備的還有一場政治意味濃厚的音樂會…不過我是以表演者的身分出席，不為站台。期待在這些不同的舞台上能得到更多不同的磨練！
This is February 2008 in a nutshell…

Just found these photos online. : ) Thought I’d share these with you.
我在網路上找到這些照片 真是謝謝當天不小心照到我的影劇記者！ :p

試圖不用麥可風合唱的我…?! (下面兩張是彩排的照片)

Sources:
http://video.libertytimes.com.tw/topnews.php?i=526
http://www.sooostar.com/Gary/content.asp?ArticleID=138638